“Come, follow me,” said the blind man to his friend,
Who let himself be led, until the very end.
I don’t have much of a following for “Thoughts, Socks and Jots.” I love it when people do follow me, like a post or let me know that they have read my ramblings, but that doesn’t happen very often. It made me wonder why that is, so I began to think about what makes a blog or a website popular. Not good, mind you, just popular.
Barring the obvious thoughts that I might be a horrible, inconsistent or boring writer, my conclusion (the one I’d rather accept) is that I’m just not hip enough, foul or potty mouthed enough or controversial enough to make a run at serious readership numbers. So, in order to increase my readership, I’m trying something new. I’m going to fill my content with obscenity laden pejoratives, dog gone it. I saw a FaceBook page called, “I f***ing love science.” Well, shoot and poop (hee hee! I just giggled.), that’s a sure winner there. If it has profanity in the title, you know the owner must be someone pretty cool. Science must be awesome for someone to love it enough to use foul language over it, and this person must be awesome too, to be able to use that word in the name of the blog without fear of repercussions from old biddies like me. Drat! I’m just not comfortable enough to use that kind of language. Gosh, darn it all anyway!
I suppose I could get controversial in my posts. I’ve seen sites where the author tells people to go “love themselves some science” if they don’t like his website. That’s so cool! I wish I had the courage to be so controversial. The closest I’ve come to controversy was when I voiced my opinion that the Packers did the right thing by letting Brett Favre go. And I might have something to say if Maks and Meryl don’t win “Dancing With the Stars” tomorrow night. I’ll take a wait and see ‘tude on that one. So, as you can tell, I’m not controversial. Nor am I foul mouthed, dad gum it. I’m just so not cool. Neither is my blog.
I’m BORING, People. I’M JUST PLAIN BORING! I suppose I could spice things up and write about sex, but that’s not going to happen. Nothing boring there (wink wink); I’m just not going to write about it.
So then, what do I want to do with this gosh darned blog? I want to intercourse me some science too. I want to be opinionated and not care what other people think. I want to scream profanities into the internet and have someone scream them back at me, just like the cool kids do. But I’m not cool. I’m a dadburn old lady stuck in her dadburn old ways. No profanity from me, no controversy, no drunk Tweeting or blogging, not even any sexual innuendo unless you count “intercourse me some science.”
I’m not all the things that make a person cool these days. I’m not young. I’m not gay. I’m not atheist. I don’t rap. I’m out of touch with the lingo of kids these days. I’ll never have a viral video. I don’t think this blog will ever be popular, but if you’re looking for a safe place, where a little bit of humor or inspiration goes a long way, you might have found it. Let me know if you have, okay? I’ll be over here in the corner washing my mouth out with a double chocolate chip cookie.