Tag Archives: Cold

Dear Head Cold

Dear Head Cold,

I was reading a blog recently that talked about being able to take constructive criticism and the difference between constructive and destructive criticism. http://themattwalshblog.com/2014/02/18/learn-how-to-take-criticism-or-be-prepared-to-fail-at-life/ Head cold, I immediately thought of you.

Since you have taken up residence in my head, I have noticed a bit of slacking off on your part. Now I’m not saying that you’re doing a bad job as far as head colds go, but frankly, the Head Cold of 2009 was head and shoulders (get it?) above you. It had all the elements of the Perfect Illness. Fever, chills, cough, clogged passageways. Even the phlegm was of a consistency that wowed the doctors.

Current head cold (Note the lack of capitalization. You have to earn it, and you simply haven’t.), to put it bluntly, I can still breathe through one nostril. Now, I’m not calling you a failure; I hope you understand that. I know you’re trying, but in the interest of constructive criticism, your actions fail. Granted, the stuffiness in the nostril switches from left to right at different times, but the Head Cold of 2009 did not play around like that. My nostrils were blocked solid in a mucous coup d’état that lasted for ten days and nights. Remember the Alamo? The French Revolution? Yeah, it was like that. No escape.

Nights were torture. I was propped up by so many pillows that I can’t even say I was lying in bed. The aches and pains that kept me awake at night made sure that I was thinking about the exquisiteness of This Head Cold of 2009. Phlegm, sneezes, coughs, aches, pains, stomach cramps all came together in a perfect alignment like the stars in the night sky, which I stared at a lot out the bedroom window since I couldn’t sleep anyway. This Head Cold did not play around. Add to the fact that I was going to be traveling by airplane soon, and a simple head cold became the Perfect Storm of Head Colds. If there were prizes for head colds, the Head Cold of 2009 would have swept the awards in a gauzy pink swan dress that would have made Bjork jealous.

You, on the other hand, head cold of 2014, are a lazy, no-account pretender (Oops! A little bit of destructive criticism slipped in there.) that has chosen to play games in my head. It’s time for you to either step it up or step off. Either lay me out flat in an epic manner that would make the parting of the Red Sea look like a scene from a travelogue or release me from your grip and let me move on with my life without your hindrance. Your choice, head cold.

It’s for your own good that I say this to you. If you’re convinced that I need to be sick, then stand by your convictions and show me what you’ve got. Otherwise, it’s time for you to blow, if you know what I mean. You will never be able to match the Head Cold of 2009, and I have better things to do with my time than honk my hooter and humidify my house just because you can’t figure out what you want to do.

I won in 2009 against the worst cold I’ve ever had in my life, and that’s nothing to sneeze at. I will win in 2014, so let me constructively say to you, to save us both some time and tissues, give up now. As long as I have hand sanitizer and chicken noodle soup, you can’t win. Speaking of chicken noodle soup, I’m off to have lunch. See? You haven’t even killed my appetite. I’m so getting over you.

Sincerely,

The Head Honcho

Penguins In Overcoats Are Still Cold

Frosty inside and out

Frosty inside and out

It was cold today and yesterday. Bone chillingly cold. Penguins are putting on overcoats. Hell hath frozen over, under and around. Colder than a witch’s … It’s really cold. We’re at the tail end of the “polar vortex,” as it’s being called. Frankly, I think someone made up that term. Is it really something that one would find in a meteorology text book? I don’t know, but I suppose if one has an almost unprecedented weather event, there may be a need to invent some new terminology in order to deal with it. “Polar Vortex.” It’s as good as any name I could come up with. Are we down in the “Subarctic Basement?” Are we trying to avoid “Molecular Freezation?” Is this the coming of the Four Snowmen of the “Frostpocalyse?” However you want to categorize it, I just know that it was darned frigid outside yesterday at 18 below, with a wind chill in the -40s. Today was better, but when 2 degrees counts as a heat wave, you know that Mother Nature still has her icy fingers running up and down your spine. As we dig our way through this snowbank of negative numbers, I’ve had various thoughts running through my head (I keep them running in order to keep my brain warm. Being frozen on one thought for a long time is never a good idea.). Number one:  For the first time, I’m glad that we don’t have a pet any more. We had to put our sweet 17 year old dog down in November of 2012.

Daisy at 17

Daisy at 17

I still miss her, but I’m thankful that we don’t have to let her go out in this kind of weather. I’m grateful for that. Her later years were full of health issues, mainly with her legs. While she loved to play in the snow and eat snowballs when she was younger, the snow had become a trial for her in later years. This cold spell would have been too much for my furry sweetheart. Plus, opening the back door at night to let her out in this frost jamboree gives me chills. (I think the door might be frozen shut, but it will thaw come springtime.) So, for once, I’m happy without a pet, for her sake.  The second thing I was thinking about is that I need to change this blog since Christmas Sock Season is over. The title no longer fits and I want to expand the blog to other topics. I just have to learn how. I have a friend who will teach me, so one of these days, there will be some changes. For now, it will remain the same. And my third thought was … it’s cold outside!! How can a person think about anything else when it’s so cold outside?!? Bring on the warm blanket and some hot chocolate! Hold the marshmallows.

12/22 Gold Snowflakes

Dec 22 – After driving through unplowed streets to church this morning, I wasn’t feeling very loving. I knocked off the snow that clung to my striped socks with gold snowflakes and took my seat. When the Advent candle was lit in the service, this carol ran through my mind: “Love came down at Christmas, Love all lovely, love divine; Love was born at Christmas, Stars and angels gave the sign.” This popular Christmas song was originally a poem written by English poet Christina Rosetti in 1885. She used the word “love” eleven times in three verses. How perfect for the fourth Sunday of Advent! Today, we lit the love candle, completing the circle of the four. The only one left is the Christ candle, appropriately situated in the center of hope, peace, joy, and love. As Rosetti reminds us in her poem, love arrived in the form of the baby Jesus. The magi followed a sign, but we no longer have to look for one because our sign is Jesus, and Jesus is Love Alive. This is the truth about Christmas. Like the Advent wreath, Christ stands at the center, waiting for us to receive His love on Christmas Eve.

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12/19 Pushing Snoopy

Dec 19 – I had my Snoopy socks on today, the ones that lost out to Betty Boop some days ago. In the past, I’ve wondered about Snoopy on that doghouse. How does he stay up there? Has he ever slid off the roof? I was wondering about it because my car slipped and slid on my way home from a meeting tonight. Coming to a stop at the bottom of hills was a challenge, to say the least. We’re in a period of freezing drizzle right now, which started during my meeting. It was just a thin sheath, but it was enough to make driving tricky business. While I don’t recommend driving in icy conditions, tomorrow morning, we’ll awaken to a shiny, crystal wonderland. Crystal is on my list of “favorite things to look at.” The subtle colors and sleek sheen play like a rainbow of dance over the surface of whatever it touches. Beautiful to look at, but not to drive in. I still have a little shopping to finish, but going out in weather like this would be like pushing Snoopy off the doghouse. Tomorrow might be a good day to stay at home and bake cookies.

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12/17 Sparkly Thread and Snowflakey Things

My socks are a colorful pair today. They have green dots of sparkly thread and big snowflaky things on them that made me think about sled riding today. I live in a semi-flat state, but I grew up in sled riding country. When we first moved here, I asked about the large mound of earth that seemed to hump up in the middle of a park. I was told it was a sled riding hill. It would have been rude to laugh. Growing up, I lived at the top of the street. The street would be closed off and a multitude of neighborhood kids would trudge to the top and take off on our Flexible Flyers down the unplowed street, laughing, smiling, with wind-red cheeks and runny noses. Once at the bottom, we’d trudge to the top again and like shampoo, we’d lather, rinse, repeat until we were called in for hot chocolate. That was sled riding. We made memories. Even though I laugh at the sled riding bump where we live now, those families and kiddies are making memories that will stay with them, much like the way I remember the hills of home.

(If these look familiar, they’re the same pair that are in my icon, but this is the first time I have worn them this year. However, this is not the first time I’ve taken a picture of them. What can I say? I have odd hobbies.)

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12/16 Ho Ho Penguins

Dec 16 – Ho ho ho. Not feeling very jolly today. My plans to go Christmas shopping have fallen through, thanks to the snow. I put on penguin socks, thinking that they were ideal for a jaunt in this weather. Unfortunately, it’s not to be. They’ll have to be happy with going out when it’s time to shovel our driveway. Sometimes, I think it would be nice to be a penguin. They don’t mind the cold and are well-insulated against it. And while I’ve got more insulation than I want, the cold weather just leaves me cold. Throughout my elementary and secondary school days, I walked to school.  Back then, miniskirts ruled, even in the dead of winter. Fortunately, along with the mini came the maxi. One of the best presents I ever received was a navy blue maxi coat. It got tangled up in my legs when I walked, but gosh darn, it kept my thighs warm. So, I’ve had enough of the cold. The penguin socks are going to have to be happy keeping my feet warm indoors today. As for shopping, I’m good, as long as I have a credit card and the internet. Ho ho ho.

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